Genea Browne | CCC Shorewood Small Groups Director
Tell me if you have experienced this before--everything is quiet in the house, the kids are watching TV, the dogs are sleeping and you finally get the chance to slip away to call back that friend from church or small group who really needs to talk. You go into your office, close the door, pick up the phone and dial. Your friend says “hello” on the other end and at that very moment, the dogs start barking and the kids come rushing into your office fighting. How do they know? Every time I get on the phone it’s like a big neon sign lights up saying “Mom’s on the Phone.” And that’s their cue to create chaos and demand my time and attention. Well, this happens to me a lot. And I can remember doing it to my Mom when I was growing up. My Mom was very active in ministry at our church and would often be in deep conversation over the phone when my brothers and I would approach her. She would be so nice, caring, kind and compassionate on the phone and in an instant change into “mean mom”. She would give us that look, you know that look and snap her fingers and point at the door. We knew we needed to get away and fast. My brothers and I still talk about that to this day.
I know many of us our extremely busy serving at church in our ministries. We are doing great things for God, no doubt about it! What I want to challenge you with is, have you stopped lately to think about what your family is learning and seeing from you serving? Ephesians 5 & 6 talks about have God-honoring relationships with our children and our spouse. The 1st 4 words says “be imitators of God” Our very own Leadership Expectations says that it is a priority for every leader to model a God-honoring commitment to your family. It says that we as leaders need to be a consistent example in the home, church and the world watching of building a strong family. And although your ministry can become great, it should never be at the expense of your relationships with your spouse or your children.
I know this is hard and I learned that first-hand. When I first got into ministry I was so excited and passionate about what I was doing that I put my ministry first and my family second. I rationalized it and said it was okay because I was supposed to put God first but what I didn’t do was make the distinction between God and ministry. They are different. So many times I would do exactly what my Mom did many years back, I would be on the phone with someone listening, caring and helping. I would then hang up the phone and be the opposite with my family. They noticed the difference and were hurt. It took me awhile to figure it out and a lot of conviction from the Holy Spirit but I realized, how can I be helping other people cultivate wonderful relationships in their own families when I wasn’t doing the same?
I do still struggle with this from time to time when the demands of time and the busyness of life get in the way. But I quickly realize it and allow God to open my eyes to the needs of my family and the importance of honoring those relationships at home before I can go out and help others.
So let me leave you with a few questions to ponder. What would people see if they saw your interactions at home? You know we see those talk shows all the time like Dr. Phil where the cameras are in the home 24/7. What if we all had a camera in our home and it was hooked up to some monitor at church where everyone could see how we were treating our families? Are you honoring God in your relationships with your spouse and your children? Are you leading by example, practicing what you preach? I hope you can do that today. It starts with us realizing that this is what God has called us to do in His Word and being a good steward of what God has entrusted to us- our spouse and our children.
