Friends in Small Group?

Eric Metcalf | NewThing Adult Ministry Champion

Think of who your closest friends are right now...do you have the names and faces in your mind?  Now think about what types of risks and events led to you becoming friends.  Ok, take that "formula" and apply that to small groups...accept it's not with 1 or 2 people it's with 10 or 12 people! 

I love small groups (goes without saying I hope!) but one of the biggest challenges I have seen arise in every small group I've been a part of is trying to grow a group into the "friendship" stage:  moving beyond just answering questions in small group to a place where you truly rely upon one another and really enjoy spending time together beyond group night.

Now, honestly every small group is different, so it really seems trite to offer up some tips on how to create relationships beyond "question answering" but let me give it a shot:

• Give each person (couple) in your group a number and place those numbers in a hat. Draw numbers in pairs and have those pairs of numbers go out for dinner within 2 weeks.  Conversation over a meal can remove barriers and allow conversation to flow more freely.
• The leader has to go first. Many times friendships will not emerge within a small group unless the leader is willing to become vulnerable enough to spend time with group members outside of the traditional small group time.
• Plan a service project together. Serving together almost always deepens friendships.
• Don't do the planned study for the night and just ask questions about each other.  We did this last week and simply asked, "When did Jesus become real to you?"  We also asked, "How did you get into the field of work that you are doing?"  This allowed for great story telling and it was fun to actually learn about people's lives.
• Have the whole small group go out for a meal together.tog..
• I think another great way to promote "permission" for friendship is to write a small group covenant together that states the goal of the small group.

How about it, do you have other suggestions to grow friendships within small group life?